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They are people just like you and I
But like a worm they sleep where they lay
Not understanding the outside
Just in a cave for someone to prey
One was able to be free
From all illusions and pain
But given the chance of reality
In hopes of something to gain
By breaking a tradition
That was harsh and unfair
It gave him another mission
But to avoid their harsh stare
There is a reality outside the cave
But only one true hero is that brave
I like your sonnet I think its simple but a good sonnet. However I think think your last 2 lines should rhyme and to me the last two words don't. Other then that good.
ReplyDeleteI changed the last two lines. It took a while because I wanted to keep the meaning, but I think I captured what I was looking for. Thank you.
DeleteI really like the level of insight within this sonnet and believe you have great concepts within it, but unfortunately it doesn't meet the requirements of a sonnet. Great starting place, but I would recommend some touch ups.
ReplyDeleteI took your advice, thank you! (:
DeleteLove the rhyming. Very clever. Especially the ending lines
ReplyDeletegood job changing it around(:
ReplyDeleteI love your choice of words its simple and to the point. Great Job chelle(:
You have good imagery in your sonnet, good job! I like your rhymes as well.
ReplyDeleteI like your sonnet; "short and sweet"..good job! Michelle!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ming that your sonnet is short and to the point, very good :)
ReplyDeleteI like the lines "There is a reality outside the cave
ReplyDeleteBut only one true hero is that brave"
they sum the allegory well!
I agree with Lizbeth the rhyming is clever :)
Can you comment on my blog please :)
Thank you Valerie. (:
DeleteInteresting reference to the worm but I definitely enjoyed the simplicity of the sonnet. Overall you did a really good job!
ReplyDeleteThe last two lines does a great job on summarizing the sonnet. Good job!
ReplyDeleteRemember that the sonnet also has to be written in iambic pentameter, the pattern of 10 syllables. But it was really short and to the point, giving the reader a better understanding of what your views are early on. I really enjoyed the last line telling the audience they could follow by example.
ReplyDeletethe last two lines were my favoriteee:) great jobb!
ReplyDeleteI love a good similie! great job love.
ReplyDeleteI love the last two lines it has a mysterious quality to it. Could you please comment to my poem as well?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this, Michelle! Nice job! How you showed your view on the matter was very concise, organized, and esay to follow. :)
ReplyDeleteLove how it rhymes and flows. I like the comparison to different things as well.
ReplyDeletePlease comment on mine.
http://pkimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-caves-sonnet.html
awesome job really liked the couplet at the end
ReplyDeleteoh and could ya comment on my sonnet too
good job you really represented the allegory well
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot, you did a great job interrupting the allegory for your own.
ReplyDeleteCan you please comment on mine?
http://kfursterhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/
I loved it! Great job :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so good!! Great job Michelle. The iambic pentameter is the only thing that needs work. Thanks for commenting on my blog!
ReplyDeleteThe second stanza was my favorite! :)) I really like the flow of it and how it all rhymed so smoothly. Nice job!
ReplyDeletehttp://sramirezrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/blog-post_23.html
can you comment on mine plzz!?
great job!!! The rhythm is a bit off, but then sonnets are tremendously difficult to time. Great insight into the meaning of the poem and awesome work!
ReplyDeleteGood job on a whole. Good content and diction. The rhyming and iambic was a little off but besides that it was good.
ReplyDeleteOoooo;o really nice! I liked how it went with the flow(:
ReplyDeleteWow....this...was...so good! Michelle you know how to write a sonnet! Way to go girlie!
ReplyDelete